Monday, January 28


Recently, I've been feeling an overwhelming sense of melancholy and a general sense of being stuck. These feelings did not surprise me, given that my horoscope for the month mostly said, "This month will suck your will to live and you won't accomplish anything because the world wants you to suffer." Thanks a heap, Marie Claire magazine horoscope. You are the worst.

But today after almost an entire month of massive frustration, I feel better and less stuck! The reason: I finally finished the WORST section of all time in my Dental Assisting Clinical Overview class. Excuse me for not being able to memorize the uses for 30299 different waxes that are mostly all EXACTLY THE SAME. :( But I finally took the test today and only missed one. Special shout out to the winter storm last night that prevented me from going out with the Boyfriend and forced me to study instead. Props, weather.

Now that the huge weight of this section is off of my chest, everything feels like it's back on track. Now I won't have to feel guilty about watching movies, reading books, being with my friends, or just relaxing because now I feel a renewed sense of self and determination.

It's so easy to get bogged down in a temporary trial, but it's so dangerous to let it get to you and discourage you. I have so much I want to accomplish, especially within the next year that I really don't have time to let anything get to me and pull me down. Last year, I let myself get pulled down and I lost a lot of time that could have been spent pursuing my dreams and moving on.

Keep persevering. Don't let anything keep you down longer than it has to. Power through what is giving you a hard time and, as hard as it is, appreciate the trial and learn from it. Who knows, maybe tomorrow on the street some woman will have a dental emergency. She will open her purse full of wax and say "QUICK! I DON'T KNOW WHICH WAX TO USE TO STICK MY APPLIANCES TOGETHER! WHO CAN HELP ME?" I'll calmly glide over to her and say, "Easy, use your Sticky Wax. BOOM." You never know :)

Here's James Franco reading a book again. He is a God. See you soon :)

Better Late Than Never, Yes?

Tuesday, January 22

I realize that January is nearly gone already, and I can't believe that. It feels like new year was yesterday. Oh time, you unfaithful wench. You play me, comfort me, and tell me I will always get more and then you LIE. Time rant over.

Anywho, I love New Year! I love feeling like I have a blank slate and I love getting excited about what I want to achieve within the next year without feeling bogged down by the year itself. I love to plan, I love to list, I love to hope, I love to dream. That's why New Year's resolutions are so awesome. You can make yourself goals and hopefully improve yourself yearly. And isn't that the goal we all hope to attain? A perfectly happy state where we accomplish all we want and all we set out for ourselves? It's my goal at least.

I set myself ten resolutions each year and try my best to achieve them throughout the year. I keep them in my phone so they are always with me, and when I was younger I wrote them in a diary. Writing helps cement things, don't you think? Things become real when you say them out loud or when you write them down. It's an outlet.

And what's even better, now that my adult diary is a blog, people will know my resolutions and will be able to judge me if I don't complete them. Yay motivation! So here are my ten resolutions for the year!

1. Complete the fifty books challenge.

I love reading more than I love pretty much anything, and I never feel like I read enough. I love it but I understand how much easier it is to turn on Netflix after a long day as opposed to opening up a book. So I've decided to make it my goal to read fifty books this year, which is about 4 books a month, which is not even bad! Reading is the best. I'm already doing well with this challenge, which leads directly to goal two.

2. Read a classical book a month and keep my new book club alive.

Classical books are so beautiful and powerful. Recently a few friends of mine decided to start a book club this year so we can discuss wonderful works of literature together. January's book was The Count of Monte Cristo, which I TORE through. I love that book so much. I want to keep this group going because I love the people I will be reading with and I love classics.

3. Watch at least 100 new movies.

I love movies so much but I never seem to be able to make it to the theater anymore to see all of the new movies I'm dying to see. I want to change that. Also, I ams o terrible with rewatching movies and TV shows. It's so hard to invest in something new for me when I know that I can crawl back into the comfort of my old favorites. My Netflix cue is full of movies I've been dying to see. I want to watch and experience a lot of new films this year.

4. Be able to run for myself.

You know who I've always been jealous of? The beautiful people who can just run for thirty minutes without wanting to die. The people who get stressed and instead of craving a nap, they crave to put their headphones on and disappear into a run. I want to be able to do that. I hate making a resolution to "work out" because let's face it, exercise is the literal worst thing in the world. But I do want to be able to run for me. And not look like a fool when I run. That would be nice.

5. Save money each week.

I love buying clothes and food and books. SUE ME. But also, I have some lofty goals that require money. I want to go back to school for my English degree next January and that requires money. SO I will be saving as much as I can while still allowing myself some fun.

6. Stay tidy.

I'm not a messy person.... I just HATE hanging up clothes and folding laundry. I clean my room and it stays awesome for about three days and then BOOM clothes everywhere. But I hate that. A cluttered room makes for a cluttered mind. The spirit of inspiration cannot enter a dirty mind or a dirty room. And I always justify not doing homework or things by saying "Blah blah I'm Emma and I can't do that until my room is clean but I'm tired blah I'll take a nap today instead." NO MORE. Staying clean. And also this involves staying healthy with my body and my mind and stuff. Go team.

7. Spend more quality time.

I'll venture a guess by saying that this will be the hardest resolution for me by far. I love the internet. And I need to be better at not having to have my phone with me always. Most of the time, I keep it around in a practical sense, you know, in case of emergencies, and if anyone ever feels the need to talk I like being available. But I need to be better at not having to check facebook every time I open my computer and not bemoaning the fact that my Tumblr feed isn't overloaded with new things. Isn't it sad that after I check all of my websites I get sad when there isn't another reason for me to stay on the internet? I think it's pathetic and I want to fix it. Also, this goal will help all the other goals because I won't be wasting days and days on Tumblr and Pinterest.

8. Write and be inspired.

I want to write. Clearly, if you know me you know I want to write novels and publish and whatever. But I've fallen out of the habit of writing recently and I need to fall back into it. It's such a release and such an escape. It's my goal to write SOMETHING every day, whether it's a blog, a letter, an essay, work on my book. Whatever. I just want to write. And take note of how inspiring the world around me is.

9. Write back letters promptly and stay connected.

One of my very best friends is on a mission and another one of my very best friends will be leaving for one soon (HI MCCALLLLLLLLL) and I LOVE writing missionaries. But I am awful at writing back letters promptly. I want to change that. Also, I just want to make an effort to see all of my friends and family more. It's so easy to just fall out of touch and text someone "dude let's hang out" and then never really do that. I want to see everyone. FRIENDS. LOVE ME.

10. Still enjoy sleeping in, but be an adult.

K, I lied. THIS will be the hardest resolution of ever. I LOVE SLEEPING AND I HATE MORNINGS. I am not a waking up kind of person and if you ever tell me I look good in the morning, you're lying. I love you, but you are a liar. I look like a caveman just now waking from fifty years of restless sleep. Or satan. Or both. Once I was told I wake up like I'm coming out of an exorcism. All of these things are true. But as much as I hate waking up and going to bed at a decent hour, I hate not getting stuff done and wasting time in bed. I want to wake up early enough so that I have time to actually wake up before having to face my fellow man. And so I can do stuff in the morning. Believe me, I will NEVER be a morning person and I will still sleep in some days and spend days laying in bed listening to music and reading while falling in and out of sleep all day. We all deserve those days, I just want to grow up and do stuff with my life. Now that I have stuff I want to do and people I want to spend every waking hour with (HI ROBBBBBBBB)

This is 1000% what I look like in the morning.

So there you have it! Do you all have any resolutions? I'd love to know them and we can help each other see them through! YAY TEAMWORK! And once again, happy new year :) Stay lovely, planet Earth.

To end, here is a picture of James Franco asleep with a book in his hand and some puppies. Welcome to heaven. MARRY ME BYE.

This is An Obnoxious Post.

Monday, January 21

I am terribly sorry for the absence from my blog. But the day after my last entry, an amazing thing happened and I got busy with falling in love with an amazing wonderful super-foxy-awesome-hott guy. It was literally what the doctor ordered. As you'll remember, or scroll down to see, my last blog entry was about me being the conductor of my own personal struggle bus. But literally not ten minutes after I posted that blog, I was asked on a date and I've spent the last two months falling in love. PRECIOUS.

Also, sorry we are such an attractive couple. NO I'M NOT.

It's been a whirlwind of a year but thanks to an amazing person, I ended 2012 incredibly happy and full of hope. He stood on the other end of my tightrope and reached out for my hand, and took it without a second thought about my faults or my past. He's amazing and I am the luckiest girl in the world.

Corny as it is, he makes me feel more me and more inspired than ever. He is the most supportive person I could imagine and he makes me want to write and dream and see and believe and be and love and hope and breathe. Support is something that I think is taken for granted. People assume that just because someone is in your life every day they are supporting you. I'm here to tell you that there is a palpable difference between having someone sit next to you on the couch and someone who actively encourages you to do what you love. I want everyone to feel what I feel when I'm with my boy.

Gosh, this was an annoying post. Blah blah blah I love my boyfriend blah. Gross. I promise the next ones will be more philosophical and beautiful and crap. I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELS.

Also, some of my most beautiful friends also have blogs. They are named Shelby and McCall. Guys, read their thoughts. Those two blogs are another reason I wanted to get back into my blog. They are both such a huge inspiration to me. And they are gorgeous. Maybe I'm a little in love with them. SUE ME.

Be on the lookout for more soon! I have had so much thoughts lately, and I've missed sharing them with you. :) See you soon.

This is what I look like right now. All parts of it.